Finding happiness is not always easy. It is something that we have to do for ourselves in order to have the life that we want and need.  The road to happiness in a relationship is also something that we have to peruse so that we living the life that we want with the person that we can share it all with.  Taking the time to figure out what we need and want is the most difficult part of it all. There are some steps that we can take to get us where we need to be.

Being happy in your relationship is going to depend on you and your mate. You both have to work hard to keep it on the right path so that you can dream and have the life that you have always wanted together forever.  You need to work hard and do what you can to make this happen.  Dream big and make sure that you keep your expectations to a reality.  Keep your goals set and work hard to make a great relationship.

1. First of all, you need to communicate with your partner.

You want to make sure that you are speaking all the time and keeping in touch with what each other wants and needs. Think about how you want to be treated and this is what you should represent when you are talking to your spouse. You need to be sure that you are keeping communication high so that you can feel good about one another and know what is going on in your separate worlds.  Do not be afraid to talk about things that you want from the relationship as well. You want to be sure that you are expressing what you want and need out of him. This will help you feel better and you should encourage him to let you know what he wants and needs as well.

2. Dreaming together is part of sharing a happy relationship.

Make sure that you are planning ahead and keeping all of your dreams in focus. Think about what you want to do tomorrow as well in the future.  Do you want to have children, are you going to get married, where do you want to live are all dreams that you should be planning together so that you can both have what you expect and want in the relationship. If you do not share the same types of future dreams, you may not ever find true happiness together.

3. Play your part in the relationship. You need to contribute good things and even some bad to the relationship.

You have to own what you do and keep what you want to have as well as change the things that are not making you happy. This will go both ways and you have to be sure that you are ready to stick to your guns and keep what you are looking for in the relationship.

4. Another good step in creating a happy relationship is to realize that you cannot change someone else.

You are the only person that you can change.  If you think that you are going to make him change this is probably not a good expectation to have. You will not like it when someone tries to get you to change so it is important to not try and change anyone else. You need to accept him for who he is and if you are not happy with the way that you are acting, you need to change. You have to do your best to create the person that you want to be so that you can find happiness in your relationship.

5. Paying attention to each other’s complaints is another way to build a good relationship with each other. 

You need to listen to him and find out what is not making him happy. This will be the same for him listening to your complaints. This is the only way that you can make sure that you are going to be doing all the right things to create a good and healthy relationship with each other.

6.Trust is one definite for any relationship.

You need to build a good and solid relationship on trust. This is something that is going to get you far. If you cannot be honest with him then you are not going to stand a chance. You have to be ready to take on the part of being honest and sharing everything. Do not keep things from him and do not accept this behavior on his part either. Being honest is a great idea and way to stay happy and take that step closer to a better relationship.

7. Having fun is always a good thing in a relationship.

Do things that you are both going to enjoy and make sure that you are doing things that make you happy and keep you interested in each other and the things that you like. Make sure that you are making memories so that you have them for a lifetime to come. You can have a happy and healthy relationship with the partner that you think is right for you.

8. Never give up.

This is a step that you have to enforce. You need to keep on being persistent and make sure that it all works out for you in the end. You deserve to be happy and this is something that is going to be good for you in the end. You want to make sure that you are doing all that you can to keep a healthy and happy relationship to last a lifetime.

With these happy relationship steps you can have a great time and the life that you are looking for to create the love of your life.  You need to make sure that you are doing all that you can to encourage a happy and very successful life with the partner that you have always dreamed about.

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You may not know this, but do you know that whatever it is

that you hold a strong belief on - whether you realize it or
not, whether consciously or subconscoiusly - how your
environment will be, how people will react and respond to
you, will exactly be THAT which will support what YOU
believe to be true?

As within, so without.

If you are always having conflicts, disagreements, and
fights with the love of your life, and you keep wondering why
you have to face such a difficult sitaution in your love life or
relationship, there is a reason for all these happening!

Do you know how your reality in life and in your relationship
life comes about? They do not come about by chance! You
see, you are the one who conducts the orchestra. You and
your partner are playing a piece of music together; and both
of you could have been playing the same piece of music
together for so long that you never even realize it. The situation
or circumstance in your relationship life comes about because
you have intend "your piece of music" to be that way. If you
do not change the way you play the music, the same circumstance
or situation in your relationship or marriage life will always
appear the same to you, since it matches your beliefs and vibration.
The evidence and proofs (that YOU want to see) will start to
spring up from everywhere around you, so that you'll feel that
it feels right things are the way they are right now.

De-hypnotize yourself now!

Here is the story of a salesman from "Zero Resistance Selling"
and his story will open up your eyes and your mind to seeking a
creative solution for yourself if you like to make a re-connection
with your partner or spouse and make love work for you again.

Once a young salesman cornered a professional
salesman after a seminar, to complain passionately
about the executive he had to deal with at one of his
key accounts.

"Everytime I go to him with a new product, a new idea,
a better way of doing things," he said, "he instantly
shoots it down or brushes me off. How am I ever goig
to expand this account's value if I can't even get my
ideas listened to? There's just no point even telling
this guy about anything new."

I asked,"How do you usually approach this fellow with
your ideas?" I listened as the salesman described
when and how he went to this customer with new products
or ideas. He described what he said and what the client
said.

"Does it always happen like that?" I inquired.

"Absolutely," the salesman said. "It's as if there was
a script and we each read out parts."

"It might as well be," I told him. "As long as you
make the same first move, he is going to make the same
second move. You and he are having the same chess match
over and over again. Because you are frustrated with
this client, you keep approaching him exactly the same
way, just waiting for his unsatisfactory response. And
you get it.

Let me tell you what a person with the habit of
optimistic response might do.

First, he would STOP doing the same thing over
and over.

Second, he would know two things in his heart: one, that
this person can be reached, interested, opened up, even
inspired - because EVERY human being can be!

Third, he would keep trying different approaches until
one proved effective."

If whatever methods or approaches you are making is not
working for you to make that connection again, STOP using
the same unproductive approaches over and over again.

Second, realise that EVERY human beings can be inspired and
motivated. Make the efforts to find out what motivates your
partner or your spouse, NOW. Remember that what motivates
him/her years ago might not be the same as of TODAY. But one
truth about human nature stays the same throughout
centuries. Everyone of us needs a little uplifting every now
and then.

Third, if that salesman comes up to me and all he wants to
talk about is himself and how good his products are, I WILL
stop listening. You see, I'm sick of listening to sales pitch.

Think about this, if all you want to do is to come up to me
and talk about why YOU are needed by me and why
YOU should be staying by my side, even "brainstorming"
with me why I am wrong and why you are right, please
go away.

Truth is, I'm sick of listening to the same old things over
and over again. Do you have anything better and
more refreshing to do and say THAT WILL UPLIFT MY
SPIRIT?

Apply these insights into your life and your relationship,
and I can assure you, you can be on your way making relationship
and love work for you again.

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We all want to be closer to our man. This is something that we may feel the need to do because it will make us feel better about our relationship. This is going to be a great achievement for most couples. However, it is not always easy to get close to your man because you may not want to look too needy to them. You have to know how to do it right so that you are not making a big mistake in your relationship.

You need to allow your man to have their space but you want to also get as close to them as you can. When you are trying to learn about their life and find out as much as you can, you will want to be in their life but you also want to let them have their space so that they can do the things that they like to do too.

Do not over stay your welcome. If a man says that they need to do something and they need to do it alone, you need to let them. This is the only way that you can be sure that they are doing what they need to and getting the space that they need. If you are asked to leave or you are not invited to something in their life, you should make sure that you are letting them do it. This will make them feel as if they have their space and that you are not being too needy.

You will want to make your man feel loved.   You want them to feel like they are very important to you but you do not want to be a stalker or anything like that. If you are too clingy, you may in fact scare them away. You may feel as if you are not giving them as much of your attention as you should.  You need to make sure that you are doing all that you can to make your man feel good but you should also let them do the same for you. If you are not receiving love back, you may not be in the relationship that you should. 

Do not call your man all the time. You need to back off at times. It is ok to call your man daily and to check up on what is new in their life. You will want to make sure that you are keeping in touch with him but in a classy way. Calling all the time and making a nuisance of you is only going to make yourself look too needy. This can actually be embarrassing for you.  Learn how to cut back and give the recommended space that you both need when you need it. This is the only way to keep your self-respect and not make him feel like you are not giving him room to breath.

He does not have to go with you wherever you go. It is ok to spend time together, but you need to know when to do things on your own. Spending time together and doing things that you love is important however, you do not have to drag him along when he does not want to come.  Ask him once but do not force him to do something that he is not interested in. of course you need him to spend time doing things that you like with you but you do not need to make it happen all the time. There are ways to connect with your man and not drive him crazy by annoying him with the little things that he does not want to do. 

Do not tell him what to do. When you are constantly telling him what to do and how to do it, you may in fact be insulting him and making him feel almost like a child. This is going to be a degrading experience for him and it is not something that you want to happen. Give him the respect that you would want for yourself. This is the best way to keep things moving in the right direction and not making yourself seem like you are attached to him at the hip. 

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It is not easy to watch a woman get bored with your marriage. It is even worse if you do not notice at all. You need to be aware of the things that are going on in your marriage so that you can make it work and last for as long as possible.  You should not let your marriage get so boring to the point that your wife loses interest.  I would recommend that you take the time to be sure that everyone is satisfied and happy so that you can keep your marriage happy and strong.

When your wife tells you that she is bored and is loosing interest in being married, you need to take action. You have to be ready and willing to reconstruct the marriage so that you are not losing out on something that you love so much. You should be able to keep the marriage going strong so that you can live a happy life together.

You can reconstruct a marriage first by communication. You have to be wiling to sit and talk to each other.   The more that you talk, the more that you will be able to find out about each other and what is going on.  You can talk about what is boring her and what she needs to have from you to be happy. When you are willing to sit and discuss things you will get down to what is really going on and how you can start to put it back together.

Once you have communicated well about what is going on, you should then think about what you have to do to make it all right. This is going to be serious.  You should not go into this conversation unless you are totally willing to make things work between the two of you. You should sit down and think of things that you both can do to make the marriage more interesting to both of you.  Listen to what she has to say and take it to heart.  You should not demise what she is saying and take it serious so that you are able to put the spark back into the marriage.

I know that there are lots of married couples that just forget about the fun that they used to have. They have become comfortable with each other and there is nothing at all wrong with that. However, they have become too comfortable.  Life has become boring for them and it is hard to get excited about being married again. When this happens, you need to notice before she comes to you and says that she is losing interest in being married. This is going to be the point that you want to avoid. You need to keep it fresh and alive in your marriage so that you can keep both of you excited and interested in the marriage.

Do not take things for granted. You may think that your marriage is happy and everything is great. However, you may not see what is really going on inside her head. You may not be able to see that she is bored and very unhappy. Again, the best thing that you can do is talk to each other and find out what each other is feeling. This is the called communication and it is the key factor to have in any marriage.

Think of ways that you can add the fun into your relationship. Plan a romantic getaway so that you can have some fun like you used in the beginning. You should think about how you can surprise her and make her feel special.  Make this the most romantic getaway that you have ever had. Do not be afraid to make it over the top. If you have the money to make it happen, you should go for it..  However if you do not, you can make it as well as you can with what you have. This is the best way that you can get some alone time without others around to make things right again or at least try.

Do something nice for your wife when you can. Shock her with your kindness and let her know that what she does is appreciated. You want her to know that she is something special in your life and you want to honor that. This is a great way to make her feel interested in the marriage again. You will be amazed at how far you may get with this approach.  You want to do little things whenever you can so that she will feel like she is the light of your life and that you are always thinking of you.

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If you are still single and yearning for that someone special to come into your life, to share your life, and to share all the laughter and joy of being together, there is something you could do to attract your true love like a

magnet!

(1)You must believe you are able to attract true love.

This is important! In order to attract your true love, not just any type of lovers, to come into your life, you have to believe you are able to attract the right person into your life. True love comes to you not because of chance. Instead, it comes to you because of who you are. It comes 'through' you, it does not come to you. You attract the people in your life because of who you are. If you are someone who is always cheery, generous, kind, and hardworking, then it is very likely you will attract people who have one or more of your positive attributes. Whoever you attract into your lives is a reflection of who you are at that moment. Thus if you are someone who is always doubtful of your own ability and capability to meet the right person, then it is very likely you will attract the wrong person into your life!

(2)Love others who come into your life at this moment.

Being loving to others is perfect love, not just wanting love. Open up your heart and give your love to others as well while you are waiting for your someone special to enter your life. When you open up and give more love, more love will return and be given you too. This is the law of give and receive. When you go outside and socialize, do not go with the intention of only wanting to find love, or to find your Mr/Mrs Right. Instead, take an interest in all those that you encounter, be aware of their welfare and needs as well. If you start to take an interest in other people's welfare and needs instead of only your own, more people will be attracted to you. So, detach yourself from the feeling that you want to find that someone special. The right person will definitely come to you one day and be attracted to you because of who you are. He or she might must be around in a corner thinking : "Hey, I want to get to know this person who has so much magnetism and optimism. How can I approach him/her?"

(3)Expect less from other people and give more instead.

As you give more and more love to others, be careful not to become too much focused on your own wants and needs. In wanting or expecting to experience the love we want, we suffer. We crave, and we cling to what we do not have and we even refuse to let go what we have clung to. Your giving should not come with any conditions. Instead, the love you give should want less and less. As your love wants less and less, ironically you will find more love coming your way, even without you asking for it.

Give true love, so that it opens up and embrace the world. Very soon, you will find that someone special entering your life. It is not by chance that this person has entered your life, but you have cultivated the 'seeds' to bring him/her to you, not just any type of person, but the right and true one for you. And after he/she has entered your life, continue to cultivate even more 'seeds' of love for everyone around you, and you will find that you can easily create the 'magical' relationship that you desire effortlessly.

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You know that men are going to do things that we just do not like.  It is going to happen regardless of what we do or think.  There are men that just have to lie to us and tell us what we want to hear even if we know that they are completely lying to us.  There are things that women have to know and learn about why men say that love us even when they are still seeing someone else. 

When a man cheats on us, it can be devastating. It can be a very big heartache to learn that the man that we love is still seeing someone else.  He is cheating on us!  This is an unacceptable issue that women have to control no matter what they feel or think.  There are reasons behind why men say they love us when they are double timing and it is important to learn why.

1.     Men want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to have you with them forever because they do love you and you have been there with them through a lot of things. However he also want to see if the grass is greener on the other side. This is why most men still say that they love you no matter what.  It is up to us as women to put an end to it and give them an ultimatum to choose the one that they love the most.

2.     Men will tell you that they love you because they want you to believe them. They want you to think that they are not cheating and that everything is fine.  Giving you the affection that you want may end up keeping them out of the doghouse so that they can continue to see the other person that they have been. 

3.     A man will tell you that he loves you because he does not want to lose you.  They may be seeing someone else on the side, but they would not want you to do the same. By telling you that they love you this will keep you believing that everything is ok and that you will not go out and try and find someone else. They want to keep you even though they are not being faithful and they surely do not want you to go and find anyone else.

4.     Sometimes a man may tell a woman what she wants to hear.  Keeping her in the dark may be the way that he wants it as well as the woman.  If you are a woman that does not want to believe that your man is cheating and that he still loves you, it is going to be evident that you believe everything that he is saying to you. 

5.     A man may tell you that he loves you even though he is still seeing a former girlfriend because he is not sure if he wants to leave her or not. He may not feel ready to leave his existing girlfriend or wife but he may want to be with you at the same time. This is a confusing time for him and the only way that he can do is to continue to tell you that he love you so that he can buy some time to figure it all out.

6.     Having a man tell you that he loves you and still seeing someone else is going to be hard on you.  He may want to do this to wear you down. Some men have a control issue and this may be his way to keep you under his wing. He may tell you that he loves you or tell you that he is the only one that will ever really love you. When a man does this, he is trying to control you and keep you from feeling good about yourself.

7.     A man may also tell you that he loves you while seeing someone else because he is afraid of getting caught. He may think that you do not know anything at all and that everything is fine.   You need to either decide to accept this or tell him that you are not going to take it anymore.

No matter what the reason is behind him telling you that he loves you and cheating on you, you have to figure it out. You need to do whatever you can to get clear, take charge of your relationship circumstances and make the situation better.  You need to decide what is better for you and what will make you happy in life.  Your happiness is the most important thing that you need to consider. If you are not clear, you will only prolong your suffering and deny yourself the joy and happiness you deserve.

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There was once when someone wrote me and told me how hopeless and disappointed he felt when his girl-friend didn't take the initiative to invite him over to her hometown for her birthday celebration.

Worse, he was being informed by his girlfriend that she just met up with one of her former, "close" boyfriends.

Just by reading his mail, you could sense that his relationship was scarred and it was definitely not going smoothly.

He was not alone, feeling this way.

There was a time when my boy-friend didn't call me up as he usually would, when he went away for a sporting competition with his mates during the weekends.

I knew exactly where he went to, where he was, what he was doing; yet during that morning when I had had some time to take a break and was having a quiet morning; I couldn't help feeling uneasy and restless - that day!

I'm sure it happened to a number of you. Suddenly you just kept feeling restless, and you simply can't stop telling yourself stories (in your head, sort of like talking to yourself - an internal dialogue).

Things got worst when he didn't manage to give me a call that day; and I got more and more agitated, with my-self, as well as him!

I was quick to become fully conscious and aware of this inner dialogue and the agitations I'm feeling. It felt as if I was watching "someone" getting madder and restless, full of stories in her head!

He did call up late in the night (near midnight!); claiming that he was so caught with the preparation for his race that he didn't really have time to contact me upon his arrival in the noon.

I told myself I could have scream at him that he broke his "promise" of not calling at that specific time; and accused him of not staying back home to accompany me, but chose to spend the weekends with his buddies.

Yet, I was so relieved to hear his voice! When I recalled what happened during the day; I couldn't help laughing at myself! Boy! Our internal dialogue and "conversations" with our-selves can really torture us!

Feelings of insecurity and jealousy definitely have no place in a long term, committed relationship.

On the other hand; I'm not siding with the girl-friend mentioned above. She could have chosen to handle things differently and take into considerations the feelings of her boy-friend.

However, it is not worth it to torture your-self and make yourself unhappy when things are not seemingly going your way!

The guy told me his thoughts:
"Disappointed - because she didn't take the initiative to invite him over to her party"
"Angry and frustrated - because of the presence of her "close friend"

It all comes down to just how you can cultivate the right attitude towards yourself.

Getting the right attitude is the first thing on your list of things to do when you’re feeling helpless and frustrated about how things are going.

If you have learnt the laws of attraction, you'll understand that it's based on the idea that what you do and think in this world will then affect the outcome of your life.

For example, if you don’t believe that you can create your own wealth and abundance, chances are likely that you won’t.

If you don’t believe in a loving relationship, then you will not find one. But it’s not impossible to change the way that you think. All you need is the right tools to begin. Here are some ways to get started.

What you may not know

To begin, you will want to start thinking about the way that you think right now. What you can do is write down all of your thoughts during the day to see how many negative thoughts you have.

This can be a highly enlightening experience. Just the writing down of your thoughts can be interesting because you will start to realize just how many thoughts you have each day.

Once you’ve gotten a good idea of how many negative thoughts you can have during a typical day, it time to start turning them into abundance attracting thoughts – and you can do this by starting to question the way that you think.

Just by simply slowing down your thinking and asking yourself ‘why’ you think the way you do, you will start to see the fault in some of your lines of reasoning. You’ll realize that you really don’t have a reason for thinking what you do – or you just don’t have a ‘good’ reason.

But here’s the next step

Try to counter any negative thoughts with positive ideas. Many people find it to be a good practice to write down the negative thoughts they have and then counter them with something that turns the thought into a positive statement.

For example, if you sit around thinking that you just don’t have any money, change it into the idea that you might not have money now, but you will in the next few weeks. If you’re worried about paying your bills, tell yourself that you always have the money each month and you will again the next month.

You might also want to say the positive ‘rebuttal’ aloud if you’re in a place where you feel safe to do so. Simply tell yourself to ‘stop’ the negative thought, repeat it and then change it to something more positive. Then repeat that positive thought again to help yourself remember what you ‘should’ be thinking.

The power of a proper attitude

When you start to create a more positive mindset, it’s amazing what your life can become.

Not only will you begin to notice the good in everything around you, but you will also begin to see the opportunity in your environment. You’ll begin to see challenges as challenges, rather than instant problems. You’ll begin to see a chance to make things better as opposed to feeling hopeless about certain parts of your life.

And a positive attitude has also been linked to many health benefits too. People who are more positive tend to have fewer colds and flus than negative people. There is even some scientific research that is showing that more positive thinkers also tend to suffer less during illnesses as well as fight cancers and other diseases more easily.

An everyday process

Creating a positive mind is not something that you can just ‘do’ and then neglect; it is something that you must cultivate and nourish each day of your life.

You can accomplish this through keeping a journal of your positive thoughts or taking the time to be grateful for the positive things in your life. Some people find that thanking their chosen deity or religious practices to be comforting. Whatever helps you to feel like you are able to maintain your positive attitude, try to incorporate it into each day.

As you find your life and your attitude to be more positive each day, you will find that things come to you more easily. You’re not struggling with your life as much as you once were. This is due to the laws of attraction. Because you are putting good ‘vibes’ into the world, they are returning to you in the form of less stress and resistance in your life. Learn to become fully conscious and aware of your internal "dialogues". The power of positive thinking? Absolutely.

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If you are a man reading this, you need to pay attention! There are some things that you need to know so that you can find and KEEP a great relationship. You need to understand what women want to have in their ideal partner.  This may be you but you may have to make some changes in your life and this list is going to help you do just that. 

MEN Please Take Notes

1. You need to be a good listener.  A woman wants to have a man in her life that listens to everything that she says.  It is going to make her happy and you never know when you are going to learn something important. You need to make sure that you are paying attention and using your best intensions when she is talking to you.  Be considerate and even if it is a subject that you have no interest in, pretend anyway! 

2. Make sure that you are asking your girl the right questions.  Take an interest in what she did that day. “ What did you do today?” or “ How was your day?” these are great questions to ask a woman because she is going to love telling you about it.  Never tell her what to do or the right way that you believe to do something.  You want to make sure that you are offering the right advice when it comes time to.

3. Do not give her advice on what to do all the time.  She wants you to listen and not to give out instructions all the time. Yes, it is good to offer help and to give support when you are asked. However do not push your opinions on her and certainly do not let her think that your way is always the right way no matter how tempting it may be.

4. Make good eye contact with her. When she walks into a room, pay attention! Let her know that she looks great and that you are appreciating the way that she takes the time to make herself look great for you.  She will love the fact that you are taking the time to pay attention to her and looking at her eyes and not at everything else.  That is for later!

5. Make sure that you are telling her that you love her.  You need to give her affection.  Every woman wants to have affection from her man. This is going to make her feel loved and special and why wouldn’t you want to do this?  Giving her love and appreciation will make it all seem worthwhile and she will love you more for it and it will put her in a better mood too. What man does not want to put his girl in a better mood? The better her mood usually means that better your mood will be.

6. Spending time with the girl is very important.  You do not always have to do what you want to do. Make sure that you are taking an interest in what makes her happy. This may mean that you have to do certain things that you would not normally do but you have to think ahead.  When you are doing thing that she likes, you will be making her happy and you may end up liking it too. 

7. Actions are a great way to make a woman feel good. Touch her hand and hug her at any given moment.  Show her that you are affectionate towards her. Do nice thing for her when she is least expecting it. She will defiantly appreciate this. You want to surprise her with little things when you can.  Women love this type of thing even it is something as simple as flowers or candy from time to time. You can also give her a back rub at night when she has had a hard day. She will defiantly appreciate this. 

Learning the right tools is going to be the key factor in your relationship with a woman. You need to make sure that you are giving her all the attention that you can so that you are letting her know that she is important and how she feels does matter to you.

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Are you being kept up late at night worried sick that you would never be able to find or keep your true love because of a rival? Suspecting your date, lover or your spouse having an extramarital relationship? Here's what you could do so you could win back the one you love and keep them!

(1) Show your partner you respect their choices more than anyone else.

Do not do anything or say anything which forces your partner to do things or see things your way! If they have to make their choice whether they want you or the other person, give them no excuses to leave you for somebody else, show them your respect!

No one likes to live under the control of another person. Your partner will more likely choose you if you can show him or her that you are willing to give them the freedom to make their own choices and respect his / her wishes.

(2) Do not try to Compete

Do not try to compete with your rival, if you have one around. When you are competing, you are struggling, and when you are struggling, you create a lot of negative energy around you, leading to unpleasant experiences with the people who just happen to be with you. Instead, try to create opportunities that lead to positive experiences, especially with your partner around.

Let your partner feel that they can feel more at ease when he or she is together with you. Let your partner feel more comfortable being with you than with somebody else.

(3) Avoid discussing issues relating to your rivals.

Whenever you are with your spouse or lover do not keep asking or questioning them on issues relating related to your rival (Examples: "Where did you go yesterday?" "What did you give her…", "Why does he / she do this…", you get what I mean).

Asking such questions would only put his defense system on autopilot and his / her replies to you might not be truthful too. Most often than not, such discussions lead to unpleasant experiences with your partner, both of you might even fight or quarrel over an insignificant issue and further ruin your relationship.

So give your partner freedom of choice. Let them do whatever they want and like, and you will find that they will appreciate your understanding. If your partner finds that he/she can breathe easier when being with you than with the other person, they will come back to you, with no effort on your part!

(4) Stop clinging to your spouse or lover like sticky glue

Recall the type of person you once were when you first started seeing and dating your lover or your spouse. That 'person' you once were is the person whom your lover or spouse once loved deeply.

Be that 'person'. When you were that 'person', you were someone who did not cling to your partner like a parasite. You were independent, carefree, and full of zest for life! This is the real 'you' whom your partner love and like to be with.

So drop all those attachment. Practice detachment instead. If your relationship is failing, other people will tell you 'Your partner has changed.', or 'People change. This is life.' Instead, pause for a moment and ask yourself "Has my partner really change? Or is it I who have changed?" Have you changed to someone who has become too demanding in your relationship? Your partner love you for who you are. So 'be' that independent person you once were!

Keep the above tips in mind, and you can be sure that you will the heart of the one you love without any effort on your part!

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Someone has ever asked me, "Cucan, is it possible that we can go back to the way we are; that things will be the same as it is initially when we first meet, or when we first fall in love?"

My answer is, you can't fall in love forever! One day you will fall out of it. In fact, change if the only constant in this world. Things can't be staying the same all the time.

Because of change, life is forever beatiful and spontaneous!

But because of your faith, you can stay together till the end of time.

To keep your partner in the relationship with you, what you can do is to learn how to get out of fights and disagreements as quickly as possible.

1. Be aware of the times when you assert yourself too strongly.

Try to catch youself the urge to question his whereabouts, her hairstyle, him not spending time with the babies, her not behaving in the way you want in front of your friends, etc.

Understand that you can fall into the trap of wanting to see your partner as how you want it to be, not how he or she wants his or her life to be.

2. Understand that when we feel hurt, or feel offended, the feelings is our response.

One morning you could go to work feeling miserable, or with your self-confidence shaken because of some adverse experience.

Your partner comes by and give you a hug, and you feel good about yourself.

But not today. Today you are suffering tensions of self-doubt, anxiety and insecurity. We take his action in the wrong way, become offended. This is when quarrels occurs, breakups happen.

So, remember this, we are injured and hurt emotionally, not so much by other people or what they say or don't say, but by our own attitude and our own response.

3. Remind yourself that you have the power to be able to pause.

Be willing to see the truth, select an appropriate response, thereby CHOOSING the direction your relationship with your loved one would go.

Remember this: no one react to "things as they are," but to his own mental images or OPINIONS of what is happening.

Most of the time your partner's reaction or actions is not taken to frustrate or disappoint you, but because he (she) "understands" and inteprets the situation differently from us.

Always ask yourself this question "Why he (she) might "act the way he (she) does?"

4. Don't add your own opinions to facts.

Fact: Your wife asks for more space and freedom from you. Opinion: She does not care about our relationship anymore.

Fact: Your boyfriend orders the food he likes. Opinion: He never thinks of what I would like to eat today.

Fact: Your husband throws his clothes onto the bed after work. Opinion: He does this to purposely irritate me.

You kick up a fuss. Most likely other unrelated stuff will be brought in and a storm will begin.

Ask yourself, are you reacting to your own opinions?

5. Train youself to always possess a feeling of constructive influencing of your partner through your own personality instead.

Do you know something?

Many people do feel themselves as incapable and lousy that they can't seem to be able resolve a fight or quarrel with their partner.

So what do they do? They continue to fight, and they continue to quarrel.

Just remind yourself that 2 people can look at the same thing differently. If you catch yourself arguing for something not important at all, decide to walk away from it at once! Decide that it is just not worth it to spoil a wonderful relationship over a minor issue.

Remember, being in a relationship is not "never fight with my boyfriend", nor is it "never argue with my wife".

It's how quickly you can snap out of a disturbing situation.

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